Meditation is all about going inward, but what about when you're going through a massive transition and feeling like your inner landscape is scary, or a big mess? Have you ever felt like just starting for a few minutes is intimidating, even if you’ve established a practice in the past?

In 2019, I had just had my first child, and I was struggling to see how I could ever find time for myself in my day again. I'd always wanted to be a mom, but I didn't account for the exhaustion that would take over my body and mind leaving me little space for my love of music, my husband, my photography career, my friends, and anything else from my previous life I used to enjoy.

Something in the deepest reaches of my mind remembered that meditation had felt good when I'd done it in the past. But I also knew that I wasn't in the safest space to go it alone. To give you an example of what my self-care looked like, I had told myself that I’d cut corners, like sacrificing shampoo and conditioner for just a quick rinse-off with water! I was constantly cutting corners on myself.

So I got some positive friends together—people who inspired me—and I invited them to a 12-week, once a week mindfulness gathering at my house. Our friend, the yoga instructor, led our meditations and discussion and even led us through a flow.

It was the most nourishing medicine.

I learned what you can do when you're going through a massive transition and feeling like INWARD is a big mess. This is where other people come in and enrich your practice! I was articulating to these women what was on my mind, hearing how it sounded out loud, hearing their very similar stories, feeling normal, held, loved, and hooked on sharing more.

Upon further research, I learned that this was not a new concept I’d stumbled upon… it’s just rarely done in our modern, western culture. In ancient sanskrit, Satsang is a word that means gathering together for the truth. Almost every religion and culture throughout history has had their version of this. In Buddhism, it’s a Dharma talk.  In Judaism, Rosh Chodesh. It’s widely used in Indigenous circles. We have always been called to gather and realize our truth.

I saw an amazing opportunity to create a space for learning and discussion using an inclusive and scientific mindfulness-based meditation approach for our modern times here in Westport. I thought, what could it do for this community if people were given access to groups where they could speak vulnerably and be heard without judgement? If people could move beyond their fight or flight responses and live in their truths, like I was able to do?

I started this journey lost in negative thought cycles and barely able to meditate 5 minutes. There are still times when I feel disconnected from my inner self, but I always have a roadmap back there now. That’s what Pause + Purpose has given me, and what I hope it can give to you.